Author: maryjunebrown

Journalogue.

~ maryjunebrown

Do you keep a journal, or does it keep you? I often wonder about this, the systematic recording of one’s thoughts, feelings, wishes, fears, desires, episodes, et cetera. I mean, why? Why do it?

Because it’s cathartic, it reminds us of where we’ve been, it shows us how strong we are when we see how far we’ve come.

In college, I was enchanted with author and libertine Peter McWilliams. He wrote a couple of books that were absolutely critical to me. One of them was Come Love With Me and Be My Life. In it, he records the beginning, middle, and end of a romantic love experience. It’s almost voyeuristic to read, because it’s journalistic in nature, and no doubt anyone who’s been through a heartbreak (or two) could relate. One of my favorite entries:

I write only
until I cry,
which is why
so few poems
this month
have been
completed.
It’s just
that
I…

###

Wright.

~ maryjunebrown ~ 1 Comment


It has taken me a couple of weeks to post about the novel Loving Frank, by Nancy Horan. I’ve been perplexed by it–seriously have wondered if the book was put forth with any expectation by the author that the reader would find any sympathy for the characters.

I had to let the book sink into my consciousness, because my judgments were so harsh and so quick. The book centers on the fictionalized, though probable, account of Frank Lloyd Wright and his affair with the wife of one of his clients, Mamah Borthwick Cheney. Horan attempts to put forth their affair so that we should believe their actions are justifiable and even noble. Wright and Cheney fancy themselves other, different, exempt from the mores of society. They are geniuses and forward-thinking: they need not bother with the usual concerns that those in an affair would face–the breaking up of one’s marriage, the terrible impact on the children, the judgment of one’s peers. No, they were above it all (or we are asked to think so) because they were talented.

I work in a building designed by Wright, and his persona is celebrated and hovers in the air each day as I make my way to my desk. I’ve often wondered about the man who thought up those walls, the angles of those staircases, those halls. I imagined him brilliant and eccentric. The truth? He was those things. Mamah was too, to some extent. But, they were also egocentric, pompous, self-absorbed, ugly. ###

I find Goethe comforting.

~ maryjunebrown ~ 1 Comment

Confession: though I disagree mightily with Goethe much of the time, I find his writings to be a comfort. Consider:

“One lives but once in the world.” Does this quote not make you want to somehow experience, feel, touch, be, taste, love, reach, create, affect more in life?

“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.” Okay, so maybe not inspirational…but you get the sense that you are not alone, that others before you have endured and put their fantasies aside.

and finally,

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” Thank you, Mr. Wolfgang von Goethe, for throwing forth a pinpoint of hope…that somewhere out in the future, if one becomes evolved enough, and learns to have faith in one’s inherent right to a complete and fulfilled life, one will experience, feel, touch, be, taste, love, reach, create, affect more in life.

It’s a lovely circle.

i adore it.

~ maryjunebrown

I’ve posted him before, I adore his writing so much: e.e. cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers.  Don't cry
-the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says
we are for each other: then
laugh leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis

Past/Present/Future.

~ maryjunebrown ~ 1 Comment

What are regrets?

 

Distilled energy, or fantasy

Thoughts gone sideways

Memories suffused with romanticism

 

Recollections of a past

Combed clean of nuisances, irritations

Practical problems

 

Larger, better, forever

Musings of yesterday push

Hope, a picture of tomorrow

 

Happily ever after

 

—Very interesting—

A trick.

~ maryjunebrown ~ 2 Comments

The cusp draws footsteps, hands reaching out ahead to feel the open air where all below is unknown. Here, on the rock face, time stops its sweeping and fire replaces stagnant air. Here, anxiety and anticipation become indiscernible; they face each other in mighty battle.

It is only one mere step—that drop below—and the urge to retreat radiates an influence that is not to be dismissed. “Dive! Dive,” a voice calls up, and with closed eyes, I—

 

 

Wait, what?  

 

Silly, I don’t give away these things so easily. Not in a blog, anyway.

 

Idle/Wild.

~ maryjunebrown ~ 4 Comments

I became motivated to write today…my novel stretched out it’s rough fingers and tapped me on my bare arm, saying, “Lady, your casual behavior toward me is an insult.”

My novel is right. I owe it something for giving me so much–purpose, understanding of self, exploration, a place to vent and weep and feel and love and create and drop my poise, reach for something, give something, move in trance, awaken, fulfill the ego, impress you, impress me, become bigger than the myriad parts that make me up, exist on screen, live on paper, hope for more, become fabulous, exude heat and charisma, receive insight, twist and turn and massage into accurate expression, perceive and be perceived, imagine my face on a slick jacket (what would my eyes say in that picture?), my name in bold along the seductive spine of the book itself.

Yes, little novel…I owe you.

Guidelines for success.

~ maryjunebrown

in future tense I see a home
in past tense I wonder where it went
third person, she says what went wrong
first person, I forgot the words to

hum

an arc of beginning, middle, end
three acts muddled by human error
(sin)
no awards for a life, no contract for

plot, POV, character development, story grids
I tore up all those papers or

she’d torn up all those papers

loosed them into the waters of some
undeveloped, nondescript, told-not-shown

setting

Blah-ging.

~ maryjunebrown ~ 1 Comment

Okay now, cats.

What’s the word, what’s up, what doing? What’s news, Wall Street? Gas prices up, no commute partner; heat on the rise, and no A/C. Fair’s gone, carnival leerers have packed up and are on their way to another Great American Community. Kids and dads put their hands back into empty pockets and think of their gains: stuffed teddy bears (5 inches big, polyester, made in China…throw $50 worth of plastic balls into the clown’s mouth and WIN!). It’s summer. Not much to report.

Blogroll, please.

Novellas that you’ll remember.

~ maryjunebrown

getyouclose.jpg

I just finished I Cannot Get You Close Enough, a compilation of three novellas (or mini-novels) by Ellen Gilchrist.

I am charmed by this collection of stories because Gilchrist uses some interesting writing tactics here–she doesn’t write in full sentences, she doesn’t fully describe the physicality of the characters, she doesn’t wholly tell a story from beginning to end but instead gives you small glimpses into the lives of her characters. It took a while to get used to this writing style, but I found I enjoyed her writing quite a lot once I got over the strange English usage and stopped the editing/proofreading that comes automatically to me.

For those who are writing and are having difficulty grappling with a whole manuscript, pick up this book and check it out. It may give you ideas on how to handle material in a new, refreshing way.

Novellas, while smaller in width, can have an impact, be memorable, and let a story shine without being weighed down by stretching itself into a Big Book.